What stands out to me in today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verse (Luke 2:45-46) & #TheDisciplesWay verse (Luke 12:16e-21) is that God is asking #questions of human individuals even though God has/is all the answers. It would be easy to see this as God wanting humanity to explain & justify their actions, & possibly square them with their beliefs or God’s laws. I don’t quite see it that way. God is clearly engaged in teaching moments in both these verses. What strikes me is that God is not dictating what we should do or think or say. Instead, God’s helping us discover that on our own & where we will go from that point on. For instance, the young Jesus leaves the temple with his parents after spending 3 days among the teachers. Presumably, his questions (& their answers) gave them much to reflect on. OTOH God’s questions expose the futility of the rich man’s selfishness & demonstrate that there are more important things in life (beyond protecting our wealth) that we are called to do, think, & say.

This is one of those mornings when neither #TheDisciplesWay nor #ForwardDaybyDay is speaking to me. Probably means I’m willfully ignoring what they are trying to say or am stubbornly hanging on to something I need to let go of (I’m pretty sure I know what that is, I just can’t seem to loosen my grip because I know it’s not coming back once it goes). So, rather than force something with Scripture, I’m going to focus on a different verse: Psalm 62:1 “For God alone my soul in silence waits;* from God comes my salvation.” I may not be able to turn loose that which is no longer good for me (if it ever was), but God can & will separate me from it, according to God’s desire. I don’t even doubt that letting go is the thing God is telling me to do. I just lack the ability to do it alone. So I will sit silently in God’s presence, trying to just breathe & get out of the way of God working in & through me. Prayers are always welcome.

Routines are useful things, although I’ve never thought of my daily reading of #ForwardDaybyDay as “marinating ourselves daily in the stories of our Savior’s life & ministry” as #TheDisciplesWay puts it today. Honestly, I’m not sure I think of it, or saying the hours, as #BibleStudy either. Bible study is what I do on Tuesdays at #EfM The rest is just…IDK what I think it is but it’s not Bible study. This week in #Lent is about #learning & the suggested approach is the #LectioDivina it’s interesting that, as I read the descriptions of the movements, I already do 2 — meditation & contemplation. I try to pray (oratio) though I don’t think I have a great #PrayerLife And Lectio, or reading aloud, you can forget. IDK if I don’t want people knowing that I am reading the Bible or if I just dislike the sound of my own voice. Either way, I don’t do it & perhaps I should. Maybe it’s time I change my perspective on Bible study. Maybe it’s time to change my #routine.

I’ve often said you can’t legislate stupidity. Things like seatbelt laws annoy me. If people don’t believe the evidence supporting their wear, I’m not convinced making it a legal requirement helps. (That said, if it wasn’t a legal requirement I doubt many manufacturers would include seatbelts except as a pricey option.) In fact, I wore seatbelts more before it was required. Now, going without feels like an assertion of independence, not foolishness. I think that is what the reflection in today’s #TheDisciplesWay (John 13:4-5,12-15) & #ForwardDaybyDay (Deuteronomy 10:13) are about this exact dichotomy. Hugo Olaiz talks about the difference between example (evidence) & commandment (law) while Rev. Tyler Richards points out that, sometimes at least, the law is given/made for our own good rather than forcing us to do things we don’t necessarily want to do. Perhaps this is just human nature. Today’s reflections have me seeing them a bit differently. Whether my actions change is debatable

Today is a study of contrasts. #TheDisciplesWay is reflecting on #disruption (Mark 11:15-18a) while #ForwardDaybyDay reflects on #rest & the Sabbath (Hebrews 4:8). There are so many things in the world today that distract us from our #faith & the #WayofLove It’s easy to lose sight of what we are called to do & be by God. Both of these reflections remind us that we regularly need take a step back, to rest & refocus our attention on God. It sounds simple. Sometimes it is. Often, however, resting is complicated as we navigate the many things (jobs, family, media, etc.) vying for our attention. Stepping away (a news or social media fast, vacation, just going for a walk) can feel incredibly, frighteningly, overwhelmingly disruptive to our daily lives. And yet, that is what God asks us to do. Importantly, we are told to rest regularly. Perhaps, if we did, it would seem less disruptive…or maybe it would be more disruptive. Today is a study of contrasts. Or is it?

“And blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.” Matt. 11:6 (NRSVue) The Greek word skandalizein has here been translated as take offense although elsewhere it has been translated as stumble so this verse could also be read as “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble over me.” Either way it is an interesting message for Jesus to send to John the Baptist & to share early in his ministry. #TheDisciplesWay sees it as a reassurance for John, letting him know that the proof of Jesus’ divinity is in the works he has already done & John has witnessed. Although it is not one of today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verses it does suit Rev Tyler Richard’s reflection on the day dedicated to #HarrietTubman which notes that prophets are more than just disruptive. The path to a deeper relationship with God is not an easy one. Much is taken on #faith because we fail to recognize the proof of God that Jesus shows us, or, if we do we are afraid to trust it. Blessed are those who see, trust, & believe.

It always amazes me how few names I know. Not of people, though I’m not great with those, but also places, things, & titles. Especially titles. For instance, today’s #ForwardDaybyDay mentions the Prayer for Humble Access & I have to confess that when I read that I had no idea what they were talking about despite being a life-long Episcopalian. I had to look it up. As soon as I read the first line (“We do not presume to come to this thy Table, O merciful
Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in thy manifold and great mercies”, my reaction was “oh, that’s what it’s called.” I grew up saying this prayer before communion, although it is optional in the Rite II Eucharist. May explain why I prefer Rite I. I think we said it at school, which was usually Rite II though? Personally, I’d like to have it said more often. It reminds us we are not saved by our own actions nor do we deserve the salvation Jesus offers. It is a gift, unmerited, & we should be more grateful for it.

My daily spiritual practices ebb & flow inconsistently. Lately, they’ve ebbed more than flowed as I’ve been caught up the the “news” and anger at the actions of & SpaceBaby. In #Lent I am trying to stop that & and turn away from the anger. In addition to the #ForwardDaybyDay I have taken praying the hours back up using #DailyPrayerforAllSeasons & I am reading #TheDisciplesWay with my sisters. My hope is that diving into the deep end of my faith pool (I’m also doing #EfM & a course on #PauliMurray while reading #NadiabolzWeber ) will help me discern the path God has set me on. I’m not sure what that path is. I certainly don’t know where it leads. What I do know is that I need to be receptive to it. It would be nice if I could recognize it when I see it too. That, however, requires clearer sight & far less anger than I have right now. So I’m diving into study, not as a solution, but as a means of changing my focus & growing my awareness of God in my life & the world.

Seems like I’m getting some affirmation of my social media/technology fast during #Lent from today’s #ForwardDaybyDay (Hebrews 2:1-3a) For me, it’s not just a matter of a shortened attention span (tho I ! ! that too), it’s also about losing sight of what is important in my life. I need and want to make space to just sit with God and listen. I may or may not be discerning a call. I can’t quite tell because of the overwhelming noise around me. We talk about holding space for others, which is an important thing to do. We also need to hold space, in our lives and our world, for God and the Divine (I’d say “whatever we conceive that to be” but too many people today seem to be worshipping or attention or false prophets rather than any aspect of the Divine) The biggest issue I have with a social media fast is that social media is my job. Maybe if I confine myself to work hours and #Episcopal related content We’ll see how #offline and #analog I can get this season and still do my job.

I’m not sure I agree with Rev. Mathis’ take on today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verse (Ruth 2:12b) It’s not that I’m unaware that family dynamics play favorites or that people conceal their (& their family) financial condition for a variety of reasons. I just don’t necessarily see Naomi’s & Boaz’ behavior as treating #Ruth as an outsider. Seeking more context, I turned to my SBL Study Bible of the #NSRVUE & discovered that the Hebrew & Christian bibles place the book in different places. That placement significantly impacts how the book of Ruth is read & perceived. Mathis clearly read the Christian placement which leans toward the outsider feeling. I find the Hebrew placement (between #Proverbs & the Song of Songs) rings truer with how I perceive the text. Not a as a story of an outsider as much as a story of a woman of quality. It expands on the story of a woman of strength (Proverbs 31:10-31), bringing her to life & giving her a name, perhaps two (Ruth & #Naomi)

“You are the salt of the earth” (Matt. 5:13a) in a common phrase where I’m from. I even use it to describe my BFF. When I say it, I’m referring to a person who works hard, lives simply (often in a small town or rural area, but not always) & is honest & loving. The kind of person I know I can always count on to be there & have my back. The kind of person I want to be, but am not. When I hear that phrase, my heart & mind goes automatically to someone who is a good person. Much better than me. Today’s #ForwardDaybyDay reminds me that there is another way to hear that phrase & God does apply it to me. I am who God needs & wants in the space I occupy in this world. My existence makes the world better. I may not see or understand how, but God does. With all my faults & shortcomings, I am enough in this moment, for this moment. That’s a scary thought to me because I don’t see where I or the world are going. I have to trust God though. “No doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.”

#Forgiveness & #reconciliation are not the same thing. The moral Rev Mathis takes from today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verse (Genesis 45:8) resonates with me, particularly given the many many conversations this week around how to deal with those experiencing #VoterRemorse Personally, I try to always leave room for people to change without any expecting that they will. Actual forgiveness is harder. Perhaps that is why Joseph reframes the past & his familial relationships. It’s not because he is forgetting or minimizing their actions or even because “I told you so” isn’t an effective means of moving forward for anyone. It’s because we can’t forgive (although we may be able to reconcile) when we are still laying blame. To forgive AND reconcile requires a demonstration of fundamental changes in everyone involved. That is something we rarely see or consider. Joseph lets go of the bad done to him. His family takes responsibility for their past, strive to do better, especially not harming others.

People watching is one of my favorite pastimes. It’s fun to think that Jesus enjoyed it too, as shown in today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verse (Mark 12:41a). The “widow’s mite” is often cited, as Rev. Mathis did today, as a lesson in generosity, which it definitely is. When we restrict it to just financial generosity, however, we are missing part of Jesus’ point. First, generosity is not just financial. The #EpiscopalChurch has a reputation for just throwing money at societal problems rather than actually doing anything about them. We forget or ignore the fact that we can and should be generous with more than just funds. We also need to generously give our time, our physical/mental efforts, our prayers, and our attention. This verse is also about fulfilling our commitments to the church and each other, which is not how we usually see it (or the offering plate on Sundays). As followers of Jesus we are committed to generously supporting each other on the Way of Love and sharing our Good News.

I haven’t been myself lately. My general mood has not been good. I’m angry & unhappy. I really just want to check out of…well everything. I just want to sit somewhere quiet & peaceful (& warm!) where I can #knit & contemplate God, life, yarn, & basically anything but politics. I blame doomscrolling &, to a lesser degree, the news & social media. Thankfully, I’ve found an antidote to my current despair in today’s #ForwardDaybyDay Rev. Mathis chose a verse from Isaiah (65:23) as a much needed reminder that living into the Jesus Movement is not in vain. Our labors, whatever they may be, will be rewarded. Not only will we be blessed, so will future generations. Psalm 102 takes that a step further, giving voice to a prayer I feel all the way to my bones & a promise from God that we will overcome & go on. The Gospel of Mark 12:28-34 even tells us how we will accomplish that: by loving God, mind, body, & soul, & by loving others as ourselves. #Hope

Today’s #ForwardDaybyDay verse (Psalm 109:12) reminds Rev. Mathis that we don’t have to be perfect to be in God’s presence. It’s an important reminder. God’s sees us not just at our best but also at our worst, and loves us either way. Where she sees almost slapstick, however, I see a real warning, or at least a cautionary tale. Psalm 109 reverses the #GoldenRule of doing unto others what we would have others do unto us. It reminds us that actions have consequences. Perhaps more importantly it shows us that if we act or speak cruelly, with hatred or evil intent, the consequences will be equally cruel, perhaps even more cruel. It also teaches us to bring our negative emotions and impulses to God before visiting them on others or the world. Vengeance and judgement belong to God. Trying to imagine a world where we live without taking either into our own hands is not easy. It may even be beyond us. Which is exactly why we should leave that desire to hurt/repay others in God’s hands.

The world needs more joy. Today’s #ForwardDaybyDay is the opening verse of Psalm 100 (Be joyful in God, all you lands; serve the Lord with gladness, & come before God’s presence with a song.) This is an important reminder as we are looking towards Lent but also given the state of the world right now. There is so much anger & fear all around. It’s hard to remember what joy feels like & imagine we will ever feel that way again. It’s easy to get caught up in the doomscrolling & the self-perpetuating circles of reaction; just as it is easy to feel overwhelmed & depressed by all that is happening. And yet, when we allow ourselves to wallow in our negative emotions, we are turning away from God & God’s love. Which isn’t to say we should not have righteous anger or grieve about what’s happening around us. We should. What God tells us is that we should not fear. God is here with us & we need to rejoice & trust in that. The world needs more joy.

In today’s #ForwardDaybyDay (Matt 5:4) differs slightly from the lectionary Gospel (Luke 6:17-26). The beatitudes are a common thread of the gospels but the subtle differences in how each author phrases them probably indicates they were intended for different audiences. The verse from Matthew annoys me. I am in mourning for a parent, & evidently in the anger phase of grief. I do not want to be comforted because right now the “comforting” words of others seem either false, like they are humoring me or somehow implying I’m not capable of moving on & handling my life or future. So just save it. I prefer hearing that those who weep will one day laugh again. I need hope, & a reason to move forward, not a pity party. Yes, I miss those who are gone & look forward to seeing them again. Yes, I am sad. Yet, I refuse to be mired in depression. If you want to help, lift me up on the path to laughter & joy, don’t encourage me to keep slogging through mud. I don’t want to be comfortable in sorrow

Jesus stood still & said, “Call him here.” (Mark 10:49a) Sometimes I think I am the only person on the planet who really wants a come to Jesus moment. Then this verse comes up in the lectionary & I am reminded that people have been longing to hear Jesus’ calling them to him since he walked the Earth. As I sit with this verse this something, it occurs to me that the call is just the beginning. When the blind man comes to him, Jesus asks: “what would you have me do?” The man has a simple answer “I want to see”, that also carries multiple implications. My asks are not so straightforward. I want direction. I want Jesus, or God, to tell me what to do with my life, In unmistakable terms, to help make the world a better place. Neither Jesus nor God, work like that. The blind man knew, at the most basic & obvious level, what he wanted. I don’t. He got it along with much, much, more & he continued to follow Jesus. I still struggle to discern my path & how to follow Jesus today. #ForwardDaybyDay

Today’s #Bible verse (Mark 10:37) has Zededee’s sons asking for the privilege of sitting at the right & left hand of Jesus in God’s kingdom. In her #ForwardDaybyDay reflection Rev. Mathis explains they are seeking safety & security. I disagree. They may think that’s what they are asking for, however, proximity to power, particularly radical power like Jesus’, is rarely a safe place to be. It makes you as much of a target as they are. It also opens you up to jealously from every direction, including (although not in Jesus’ case) from the person in power. We tend to forget that. Just as we tend to forget that following the Way of Jesus is neither an easy nor a safe path. It does not shield us from the trials, tribulations, hardships, or sorrows of this life. We take comfort in knowing God walks with us, sometimes even carrying us, through the bad stuff, however, we still go through it. Being close to God doesn’t make us safe. It makes us dangerous, particularly to those who are not.

February 13 is the feast day of #AbsalomJones, America’s 1st Black priest. Today’s #ForwardDaybyDay reflection entwines his remarkable story (born into slavery, freed, church planter, ordained at age 56, activist) with an OT verse (Isaiah 60:15) then asks us to reflect & move forward by imagining what a world of equality & love would look like then take whatever small actions we can to bring that dream closer to reality today. There’s just one problem: like Rev. Mathis, I can’t imagine that world, which nonetheless feels like it recedes further from the realm of possibility with each passing day. Yet I still have hope. Hope that the Beloved Community described in Isaiah 60:1-17 will, one day, be a reality. Hope born from reading the profound & enlightening works of BIPOC & women priests like Revs. Jones & Mathis & Rev. Canon Harold Lewis who told us “we will go forward when we learn…that freedom isn’t free [&] work to remove [the] shackles that imprison our minds.” #BlackHistoryMonth